Communication with a sibling when the other sibling requires more time or energy
Guest:
Crestina Yaiva is a stay-at-home mom of twins aged 9. She has a business of her own making handmade jewelry using textiles. Her son Franco is on the autism spectrum as well as non-speaking, while Vincent is neurotypical.
Overview:
Crestina had noticed that her son Vincent is always so kind and loving to others, but when it came to his brother, he seemed to be a bit distant. Franco has always had a tendency to be somewhat isolated and play by himself. The boys would have decent interactions, but they seemed brief, and Vincent seemed to be a little more distant from his brother. Eventually, Crestina came across an article that really helped her bring her boys closer together. The article was centered around “not blaming the baby.” This entails taking accounting for your time or how you are feeling and making an effort not to blame the sibling with more needs for being tired or not having time. Crestina began to rephrase the way she communicated with Vincent, and she began to notice that Vincent began to bond more with his brother and have less resentment towards him. Crestina still continues to be intentional about how she communicates about her capacity and needs and takes a neutral stance instead of “blaming the baby”.
Recap:
“Don’t blame the baby”
Avoid using one child as an excuse not to have attention or energy for the other child.
Look for support groups like SARRC and Sibships for siblings of neurodiverse children.
Resources:
Sibshops
SARRC https://autismcenter.org/sibling-support
Autism United: https://azaunited.org/services/sibshops
Crestina's Business Page
Website https://cocochenzo.com/
Instagram https://www.instagram.com/coco_chenzo/
Episode 14: How to manage the emotions of the sibling of an autistic child
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